How to Thrive When Moving Somewhere New.

Moving somewhere new comes with a lot of conflicting emotions. On the one hand, there's a lot of excitement towards new opportunities, activities, restaurants, people, etc. A great sense of novelty can take over which gives us a rush.

But on the other hand, there can be a lot of loneliness, discomfort, anxiety, and depression because you're so far out of your comfort zone. Things aren't familiar, and if you're moving somewhere where you don't know a lot of people, you don't have that in-person support system to rely on.

So, if you're moving somewhere new for a relationship, a new job opportunity, or just to check out a new place for the hell of it, there are a few things you can do to make it an easier transition.

Make a List of Peeps You Know.

Before you go (or if you're already there), make a list of all the people you know in the area. They can be old friends, acquaintances, friends of friends, distant cousins, etc. All of the people you could reach out to and ask to grab a drink should be on that list. Reach out to them, let them know you're new to town and that you'd love to meet up. See if they have any suggestions on what to do or a place to try and start exploring the city with them. See where it goes. Maybe it'll be the start of a strong friendship or just someone you see every once in a while. Either way, it gets you out and about to see more of your new home.

Figure Out What You Like.

Next, make a list of the things and activities you can do in your new place or things you'd be interested in picking up. This could be volunteering, joining an arts and crafts club, finding a workgroup, or something specific to the area you're moving to. For example, if you're moving to Colorado, maybe you'll want to get more into hiking or skiing. If you're moving to California, maybe you'll want to hone your beach volleyball skills or pick up surfing. Anything you can think of that may spike your interest - even if you've never done it before - write it down.

The goal of these lists is to help you be intentional and fill up your schedule in a new place with opportunities to experience life and meet new people. Moving to a new city is mainly unsettling because you have no roots. You're a transplant trying to find your footing in a new world. By joining activities and exploring interests, you're placing down roots to strengthen and deepen your connection to your new home over time.

Culture Shock.

Regardless of how involved you get, you're (most likely) bound to hit a wall eventually. It's kind of like culture shock. You go to a new place and the novelty of it allows you to ride a high of adrenaline and excitement for a while. But when the dust begins to settle and the rose-tinted glasses fall off, reality sets in and you realize how much you miss your comfort zone; your home, your family, your friends, your old favorite hang-out spots, etc. You miss your roots.

When this happens it can leave you feeling a little disoriented, questioning if you made the right decision, wondering if you should go back to where you came from. All of these insecurities and questions are completely normal. In fact, most people typically need one to two years to fully adjust to a new place to the point where it feels like their new "home."

So now that we know this feeling is normal, how do we cope with it? It isn't feasible to always have a jam-packed schedule. Mostly because it won't work out with others' schedules, you don't want to seem clingy, and because you'll need a break and time to recuperate. Accepting this fact will relieve a lot of pressure and give you permission to be lonely. There's an adjustment period to moving somewhere new and allowing yourself to be lonely and not feel 100% all the time is OKAY!

Reach Out to Loved Ones.

Stay in touch with those back home. When the loneliness of a new place descends, it's okay to feel the feels. But don't just wallow. Reach out to family and friends to stay connected with them. Keep up with them and lean on them. I prefer FaceTime and phone calls over text messages, but do whatever works for you.

Moving to a new place takes a lot of courage. You're uprooting your life as you know it in order to try something new. While this is scary, you still do it - and you're brave as hell. You're pushing your comfort zone and expanding your view on life to get the most out of it. Keep it up, you're a badass. If you want some help navigating a big change in this fickle life, feel free to reach out and schedule a session!